I’m not sure which is worse

Getting my butt kicked by little young Japanese girls, or getting my butt kicked by little old Japanese women. Both of which have happened in the past 24 hours. Then again, I expect to get my butt kicked by little old Japanese women, who look like they could whip out mad ninja skills while simultaneously cooking a traditional Japanese meal.

But these middle school girls…dear god. Intense volleyball skillz to the max.

But again I’m getting ahead of myself.

The day actually starts with yesterday. Sometime during the day yesterday while I was at school I got a call from my supervisor, asking if I was going to be at my apartment by 5. I get off of work at 430 and it takes about 20 minutes to get to my apartment, and allowing for Japanese Time (aka everything they say happens at least 10 minutes earlier) if I walked fast enough I would just make it back to my apartment before he got there.

Which I did, but not before spotting a small sports clothing shop along the way, that I resolved to go into for a pair of shorts and some cheap kneepads to tide me over until the first care package (hinthinthint). I got to my apartment just a couple minutes before my supervisor. Now I don’t remember how much I’ve said about my supervisor, but he’s an extremely nice middle aged Japanese man who is so busy that he does a jog-shuffle everywhere he goes. And because its summer that also means he sweats an awful lot, but who can blame him? I sweat an awful lot too (and if this is TMI for you, then you may want to stop now lol it’ll get worse). Though he is like the only Japanese person I’ve seen to not only actually sweat but like seriously SWEAT, so it actually makes me feel better lol. He also speaks Japanese very quickly and with the Goto Dialect that I for one can not for the life of me understand. But this is not my fault. Whole words are different here! Even the way to use grammar is different! But I’m learning. I really want to, because here the reason why things are so different is because they shorten everything lol, so technically once I learn how to use the dialect, Japanese should be easier right?

And as long as I’m dreaming, I’d like a pony.

But anyway he came for some forms and to check out my non working air conditioner, as well as to try and get the process of getting me internet started! This is very exciting. There was much phone talking between internet people, and I think some are coming out today or tomorrow to take a look see about setting internet up. But I’m not sure. Either way my fingers are crossed!

He also came to help me look for a bike. So I really need a bike to get around. Even though there are a lot of hills and such, there’s enough flatness involved between those hills that even if I had to walk up said hills, my time to get to places would be much less than if I walked everywhere. I could probably shorten my 30 min commute to school to at least 15, if not 10. Two of the other Jets (B and H) have it nice, because their predecessors left them mountain bikes to use. I however will have to buy my own. There’s a bike shop here that gave me a catalogue to look through and choose the bike I want them to get for me. But I know nothing about what would constitute a “good” bike, and what would just be an expensive piece of crap. And I’d rather not spend good money on crap, so if anyone who knows bikes is reading this, please point me in the right direction.

By the time my supervisor left it was about 6pm, but I still had another errand to run, so off I went to that little sporting goods shop I saw. Its run by a woman and her husband, both very nice middle aged Japanese people, who knew of my predecessor. They were very nice in helping me find a pair of pants that would be long enough for me (no easy feat in Japan), as well as a cheap pair of kneepads (that are a trifle too small but work for now). The woman, a motherly sort, felt for my parents, who are having to deal with the travesty of not having me near (“travesty” I’m sure my parents are thinking) and knocked down the over all price by a couple hundred yen! I’m going to have to stop by there more often just to say hi.

By the time I got out of there though it was already close to 7, and I had yet to have dinner. Then I realized dinner would have to wait for a few hours longer, because at 730 it was to be the first of many tai chi classes I’m taking at the community center, which is about 2 minutes away from my house.

The woman from my BoE (board of education) who cleaned my house is in the class, and two other Jets, B and H, (who also arrived a week before me, N, and F) did the class last week. It sounded like a good way to stay generally in shape while also meet people and get to know the couple of jets who live a bit farther away. And Tai Chi was a lot of fun. The class is basically a bunch of old Japanese women, one old Japanese man, the younger woman from the BoE, and three young foreign girls (me, and the two jets).

And let me tell ya, Tai chi is no joke man. It looks like it should be easy, just move about in slow motion. And if these obaachans (elderly ladies) can do it without breaking a sweat (forgetting of course that the normal Japanese woman doesn’t sweat), then my young college body should be able to do it no problem!

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Long story short (yada yada yada…), I was and am very tired and sore lol. But it was still a lot of fun, and I plan to continue it, especially as its only once a week, 1500 yen a month. And it never hurts to get in good with the Obaachans, get that ninja power on *my* side.

As it was though, by the time I got back to my apartment I was tired and hungry, and then remembered that the next morning I had volleyball club from 9 until 12. I made a snap decision to wake up early and pack a bag for that, and just go to bed early, which I did.

And while it was REALLY HARD to get up this morning, get up I did. I got my new clothes, my shoulder pads, a towel, blanket and deodorant, and had all the confidence in the world until-

((WARNING the next section is rated TMI for Too Much Information. Squeamish men are now advised to turn back to avoid feminine ranting and possible stomach kicks))

I got the first set of cramps. Now those who know me, which should be everyone reading this blog, knows that I’m not shy when I discuss my period. If I had to be uncomfortable and in pain all day, then by golly the rest of you, particularly you who do not to have to share in this misery, shall be the same!

And these weren’t the “oh hey just so you know in the next day or so Mother Nature will come calling with a vengeance!” kind of cramps. These were the “GUESS WHAT B**** I’M BAAAAACK” kind of cramps.

Now in my Terms and Conditions contract, there’s actually a section that talks about this. This is where the love part of Japan’s and mine Love –hate (or amused-frustrated) relationship comes in. In my contract there’s actually a clause, Article 15 if I’m not mistaken, that states that female JETs get Menstrual Leave for, and I quote: “Those days when a female JET is unable to work due to severe menstrual discomfort.” It’s not paid leave, but it’s not my allotted sick days either. Its EXTRA days. Oooh what now.

And now comes the frustrated part of well, not so much my relationship with Japan, but just my relationship with life. I didn’t, really couldn’t, use that leave just yet. The students already knew that I was supposed to come play with them today, and today would be the last day of the club for the rest of the week, until some time late next week. And I didn’t want the relationship I’ll have with my students to start out with a broken promise.

And so, cursing the gods who laugh at me so, I opened the door to step outside and head to school when I happen to glance down,

Just in time to see some unholy cross between a cockroach and a spider scuttle _through_ the poison powder and the bug spray that I had coated my door with and inside my apartment.

I have absolutely no idea what that thing was. Even now. I had never seen the like before, and a good search of “unholy cross between a cockroach and a spider” gives me nothing! Nothing!

Hoping to catch it (and realizing that probably twenty more of these things were about to come in but not being able to help myself) I opened my door again to try and kill it before it disappeared into a corner and be lost in the shadows of my apartment forever.

And to be honest, I’m not quite sure what happened next. I saw it in the corner, I brought down my foot, pressing down and out to either kill it or slide it back outside. There was a blur of activity, and when I lifted up my foot there was…

Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I don’t know if I killed it, if I was able to sweep it away, or if it dodged my foot with Obaachan ninja skills and dove into the shadows of my apartment, to spy on me for Spizilla. Thus I did the only thing I could do.

I grabbed my bug spray and sprayed the hell outa my door, both side. On my way home I’ll pick up more bug killing powder, and hire a plane to poor it down onto my apartment from the skies.

But I couldn’t do that now, because if I didn’t get a move on, I would be late for work. As it was I had to walk quicker than I normally do to get to work on time. And today was not a good day for a hard walk, not just because of the cramps, or the soreness and all round tiredness form the day before, but because that little Spider-roach must have brought the MUSHI in MUSHI ATSUI (I made a funny! For you non Japanese speaking folks out there….don‘t bother with the joke. It was pretty bad anyway). Today was the most humid day that we’ve had so far on the island. I’m talking the kind of humidity where you step outside and your *immediately* drenched in sweat, sweat that will *never* evaporate because there’s too much water in the air. It was like the entire island was put into a sauna. By the time I got to school, it looked (and probably smelled) like I’d just gone through a 5 hour intense work out.

But I got in, greeted the *one* teacher that was here, as well as the vice principle, principle, and school clerk (who are always here), changed into my gym clothes, and promptly went to get my butt handed to me by about 13 Japanese junior high school girls.

These girls are crazy good. Better than I am for sure at least. And their practices are crazy intense. I’ve never seen the like in an American High school (and I should know, I’ve been to three of them!) let alone a *junior* high school. It lasts from 9 to 12, first of all, and they work hard at it throughout.

But they’re also a group of very nice fun kids. They were a bit shy at first, and I need to remember that while I’m a different kind of sensei, I’m still a sensei. It took me by surprise when I walked into the gym and all the girls rushed over into a half circle around me and bowed in unison and thanked me for coming in one voice. But when I did the practice with them, and didn’t act like a coach they started warming up to me a little. And I think it actually helped that I’m not as good a player as they are lol, me making mistakes had them relax more, especially when I made jokes about it and such.

A tip to anyone who will ever have the chance to teach English to Japanese kids. High fives are your friend. And not just the normal raise one hand and lightly smack it to another’s. Get creative. We were doing “up highs” “down lows”, double hands, one high one low, etc, and it got so silly after a while that they couldn’t help but laugh as they tried to figure out what position their hands should be in to give me a high five lol.

All in all it was a great time, and its def a good way to get to know at least some of the students. Even some girls from another club, basketball I think, stopped by to watch the practice, and I was able to talk to them a bit too. For me, the girls are much easier to get to know than the boys. Whether its in school or out of school, if I wave and say “hello” to one of the girls, they’re stop, normally giggle and nudge each other a bit, but will eventually answer me in one language or another, and I can get at least 30 seconds of conversation (even if 29.7 seconds of said conversation are giggles and nudges).

When I do the same with the boys however, they stop and give me this look….How to describe it…

Picture this, if you can. A pony is wandering along his pasture, minding his own business, basking in the sun of a nice summer’s day, and thinking about that next patch of juicy grass he’s about to munch on, when he hears a noise. Looking up he sees, running toward him, claws extended and fangs glistening, a giant tiger. Not that the pony would know what a tiger is. The pony has been in his pasture in the suburbs all his life, has never seen a tiger, perhaps never even heard of such a thing before. But while he doesn’t know what a Tiger *is*, he *does* know that it will, in all probability, give him an excruciatingly slow and painful death, filled with terror and unimaginable horrors.

That look, that the pony gives the tiger when it first turns around and sees the tiger coming toward it, is the look the boys give me when I call out “hello”.

Not that I blame them. I’ve the sneaking suspicion that a lot of junior high school boys give most unrelated girls that look, foreign teacher or not.

I’ve yet to find a way to convince them that I will not give them an excruciatingly slow and painful death, filled with terror and unimaginable horrors, but it’s barely been a week. I still have time.

Anyway practice was fun, and I think I *may* even have a couple of names down for the kids. Maybe. Hopefully. I am *really* bad with names. And this is made harder by the fact that all these middle school girls look alike. And I mean that in the least stereotypical slur possible! It’s not even because their Asian! They *all* have the EXACT SAME hair cut! They’re all the same size! And they all wear the same uniform! And I swear it’s true about the haircut. It’s like the standard issue girl’s summer cut here or something. They all have this little bob thing that’s cut just above their shoulders, every single one of them. And I don’t mean just the volleyball girls. Every girl in my junior high school has this hair cut. And I think it’s the same for like all the junior high schools. I was talking to F (who is part Asian), and she agreed that all these girls look alike, because they all have the same hair cut, they’re all basically the same height, and they all wear the school uniforms which are…well…uniform.

The boys at least are much easier to tell apart, as they have different variations of the short boy-cut, and they vary wildly in height. Though this doesn’t help me any because they all give the same look.

But I’m trying to learn their names as best I can, and I’m sure it’ll be easier the more I talk with them and learn their individual personalities.

By the end of practice though I was, am really, quite tired, and my medicine had begun to wear off perhaps 30 minutes before practice ended. I’m pretty sure I was also very dehydrated. Despite that I had a whole bottle of water and tea that the kids kept giving me, I’m sure I sweated out enough moisture to refill a great lake, should one be drained. And then of course there’s the fact that I’m loosing moisture even without sweating, thanks to Mother Nature.

But no joke, my shirt was basically soaked through. Now I thought I was fine though, I have a locker in the teacher’s woman’s locker room, and I have seen a shower in there. I figured I could rinse the worst of the sweat off, reapply the deodorant, change my clothes to my nice school clothes, and be ready and wearing to go.

And then I saw that the drain for the shower was duct taped shut.

Apparently, there really isn’t a shower. It’s a lie.

So I had to do what I could at the sink, and change clothes anyway. In a weird kind of way, the fact that its summer both simultaneously doomed and saved me. Doomed me because its summer’s fault I was sweating so much in the first place. Saved me because, as its summer, most of the faculty is off taking their paid vacation leave, leaving next to no one here to notice my stinky sweaty self. Literally there is like no one here. The one teacher who was here left a few hours ago. Now it’s just me, the vice principal, the principal, the school clerk, and the two janitor women. Out of a staff that’s like 20. The principal has his own office, the vice and the clerk sit in the back of the teacher’s office (I sit in the middle, there are several desks between us), and the janitor woman wander around as they will.

So today, I was saved. But I think from now on, I’ll only go to the volleyball clubs that happen in the afternoon, rather than the morning ones. My luck (if that’s what you call it), can only last so long.

The rest of the day so far has been pretty uneventful. I wrote this blog, ate lunch, and chatted about how hard English is with the Vice principal and the school clerk, who both had a lot of questions about how English works. The hardest one being “what’s the difference between “have to” and “must”.”

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I told them (in my limited Japanese mind) that while they are very much the same, and can be used in the same circumstances, “have to” normally means outside forces are making you do something. (Example, Mom told me I have to clean my room), whereas “must” is something that is used in referring to something your doing for yourself. (I must clean my room because I think it’s disgusting).

I have no idea if that’s right or not, but it seems to make sense. And it’s nice/fun to chat with them. Since there’s nothing for anyone to do, it’s a good time to sort of break the ice between myself and some of my coworkers (whichever ones show up on any given day).

And that’s it! My plan for this afternoon is, unless something random happens (which is quite possible) to take a nap. I really love this concept of when work is over, work is *over*. At 430, I have no more responsibilities in the way of homework, studying, tests, etc. My time is my *own*!!

Such an odd concept, but I love it so.

Oh and just a note, I love to complain, and there’s nothing more fun than complaining about Japan, because its just so different here than it is in the states. But as much complaining as I may do, I’m actually having a lot of fun here, and enjoying e very minute of it ^_^b

Though I would enjoy it more if there was a better toilet situation, but that rant is for another time.